You met someone and you’re both down for a chat. Now what?
I get it, it can be nerve-wracking to meet someone for the first time.
What should you say? What should you ask about? Is this the right time to bring up this or that?
But don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be so stressful and anxiety-inducing. Taking a page from product management, let’s do some initial prep work before your coffee chat with your new friend.
First off, remember this is not a job interview. Coffee chats are not about asking for a job. Instead, it’s about getting to know each other and sharing stories. Set aside any intent to guide the chat towards job prospecting.
Second, do your research. Do not ask, “so, what do you do?” Nothing will kill a conversation faster than those 5 words. The intent behind them may come from a good place, but its psychological connotation doesn’t really make for natural conversation. Take at least a cursory look at their LinkedIn and/or their bio on their company’s website, if any.
On to the actual conversation!
(1) Open with a warm intro; a conversational version of your “tell me about yourself” is great. The easiest way to transform your answer to that question is to take out the metrics. Keep it simple; “I’m a product manager coming from the <industry> space and I enjoy building solutions that help <some specific market segment> achieve <that market segment’s desired reality>” is a good place to start.
(2) Take a genuine interest in their experiences. People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions like “what’s been particularly challenging for you as a <their role> at <their company>” and “what do plan on doing next as a <their role>?”
(3) Keep it conversational; don’t let it become an interrogation. If they ask you something, share. Just be mindful to not dominate the conversation.
(4) End it on a high note! Thank them for finding time to chat and make a nod to something from your conversation that really resonates with you.
Above all, remember that the purpose of a coffee chat is to get to know each other. It’s not to get an interview, a job offer, or anything concrete (though if it happens, power to you!). So, relax, no pressure, and share a few laughs with your new colleague.